Estate Planning and Medicaid Planning: Adult Children Caring for Aging Parents
Emily had three yellow legal pads filled with notes before she finally admitted to herself that she could not figure this out alone.
One was dedicated entirely to her mother, Susan.
It included medication lists, Susan's neurology appointments, and questions about memory care facilities. It also included the names of the two friendly neighbors who called her when they noticed Susan walking alone in 95 degree weather, looking lost, one blisteringly hot afternoon.
Another legal pad was filled with financial questions Emily barely understood herself.
Could her parents lose the house?
What happened if her father got sick too?
How much did nursing homes actually cost?
Would their savings survive if one of them needed care for several years?
What was the difference between estate planning and Medicaid planning?
Did they already wait too long?
The third notebook was mostly names.
Recommendations from friends.
Facilities.
Law firms.
Financial advisors.
People at church telling her completely contradictory things with enormous confidence.
Her parents were still technically independent.
That was part of what made everything so confusing.
Her father, Steven, still drove himself to the golf course every morning and insisted nothing was seriously wrong. Her mother, Susan, still recognized everyone most days. But lately there had been moments that felt impossible to explain away.
Susan was repeating the same stories over and over and was getting increasingly confused over the most basic of tasks. One afternoon, Susan forgot how to get home from Baileys, a local farmers market she had gone to every Sunday for the past forty years.
Emily had spent months trying to educate herself before calling anyone.
She watched videos online late at night after work. She read articles she barely understood. She fell down internet rabbit holes about long-term care costs, probate, dementia, and government benefits. And she grew increasingly frustrated because every answer seemed to contradict the one before it.
The more information Emily found, the more overwhelmed she became.
Underneath all of it lay the quiet fear slowly consuming her:
What if something happened suddenly and her parents still didn't have a real plan in place?
By this point, Emily was not looking for more internet articles, opinions, or bad advice from friends.
She was looking for someone who understood this world to sit down beside her and guide her through what they were supposed to do next.